Welcome

Welcome to my blog. I have so many things I would like to say, that I don't even know where to begin. My goal with this blog is to share the many things that God has done in my life, to share thoughts, insights, stories, and recipes most of which contain bacon, because really, there is nothing more amazing in the food chain than yummy bacon! It truly is the duct tape of food! :)

Have you ever noticed that, when you struggle with things, that you have a way of isolating yourself? You don't want to be around other people, or go out and have fun, you just decide you are tired and want to go home and go to bed. I wonder why that is? I struggle a lot with loneliness which leads to being depressed. But rather than go out and find something to do or someone to do it with, I go home, put my pajama's on, climb in my bed with my laptop and sit here all alone, lonely and sad! But my friends (and I have great ones) have started forcing me to get out and go places. And they literally have to force me! I will think of every excuse in the book, sometimes multiple ones to try to not go. Tonight was our fall harvest party at church. My friend wanted me to go and I wanted to go home and go to bed and be sad. So I told her, in one text message: I have a headache, I don't want to go alone, I might get lost, (I am famous for being lost somewhere), and I didn't cook a dessert for the dinner. Well, she shot down every excuse and even came to pick me up! Within five minutes of being there I was having a great time and was glad I had gone. The internal excuses I told myself was that it was going to be too cold, no one really cared if I was there or not, no one would miss me, my head hurt and I was bad company. Other than the cold (which was true) and the fact my head hurt, the rest was all lies! Satan has a way of discouraging me, and my feelings of not fitting in and not being wanted are the easiest way he has of doing this. When I got there, several friends came up and hugged me and told me they were so happy to see me. I had two very nice conversations that I am thankful to have had. One was about how a friend and I struggle with feelings of depression and not being wanted. The other was with a woman who was talking about how, the more we do for God, the more Satan tries to discourage us to keep us from wanting to do more. I was able to share my thoughts on God, how He is working in my life, and be encouragement to people, which I could not have done while I was sitting in my bedroom alone and sad.

Life is for living. Its too short to spend it sitting alone wondering what everyone else is doing. I have a lot of people who care about me and I need to cherish the time I have to spend with them. I spent many years not really having friends and wishing I did. Now my life is full of people and I spend all my time trying to figure out how not to spend time with them. I know its Satan, and too many years of feeling inadequate. So happy for the friends who reach out to me, and always glad to be able to reach out to someone else that I see is struggling with the same feelings. Life is a journey, and I need to start enjoying the trip. :) and now, I need to go set bacon out of the freezer for our church dinner tomorrow. Not sure what I am going to fix, but whatever it is, there will be bacon in it. Never made scalloped potatoes with bacon in them, but I bet they would be amazing.....