I took a break from blogging because my mind got bogged down with a lot of other things. I got busy doing other writing, and really, truthfully, I just didn't think that my blogging mattered. But I realized that I blog, not just for others to read, but for an outlet for myself to work through the things in my mind.
I have had a lot of heartache lately. Family members making decisions that have caused me so much pain that I feel at times like my heart is literally breaking. I know people tell me to mind my own business, that I cannot control the decisions of others, or I cannot fight someone Else's battle. But it does not make it hurt any less. I think we are supposed to hurt for the pains of others. Even in the Bible, it talks about how when Jesus rode in to the city, He wept. He wept because of the lives being lived. I weep for the same thing. I see family members that have totally rejected God in every way, and who refuse to see that their lifestyles are leading them straight to hell, and they have no intention of changing. They keep hollering that they want to be happy. That God is okay with their lifestyles of sin because He wants them to be happy. Tell me one verse in the Bible that says that God wants us to be happy. I have yet to find it, He wants us to be OBEDIENT. When we turn out lives over to Him, and yield to His ways, we will find happiness in serving Him, but we are not to be part of this world. Our happiness awaits us in Heaven.
I have had family members tell me that I do not care about family, that it means nothing to me, because I have searched for and found members of my birth family. That does not make me love the family that raised me less. I have enough love in my heart to go around. I know that sometimes I spend more time with my church family and my best friend's family than I do with my own. But my church family shares my belief, and I can truly be myself there, and not have to deal with the other junk. I can pray out loud, I can be sad, or cry, and not be made fun of. My best friend's family loves me at my most unlovable points. They love me when I feel like I can't go on, when I feel like giving up. They love me when I am weak, not expecting me to be the strong one.
In many ways I love my life, I love the people that God has put in my life. I hate having to live in a fallen world. I hate the way that this world is getting crazy, and sin is becoming the norm, and holiness is a thing to be mocked. I hate that Satan is running rampant. I hate that so many of my family members are lost, and don't even care, because its easier to sin and have fun than to be right. But I love my family, even when they don't realize it, or believe it. I am just in such an internal struggle that sometimes its easier to love them from a distance.
Life is a lot like bacon. (yeah you knew that was coming). You see the word bacon, and you sigh. You smile, and your mouth waters because you know that its going to be great. Someone can tell you they are fixing bacon, and you get happy, because you anticipate that its going to be just the most amazing thing. Then you have to start making these decisions. Do you want thick cut, or thin cut? (Well that depends.) Do you want double smoked or uncured. (Smoked all the way!) These are like life decisions. Do you want to follow God or be of the world. Its the same way. It cannot be both! You cannot have your bacon both cured and uncured, the same way you cannot be Godly and worldly at the same time. Sometimes you buy bacon that looks to be amazing, you look in the window of the package and see lots of meaty pieces. (You go to church, and it feels good and you pray a prayer and think you got saved. ) but then you open the package and realize that it was just that one piece on the end that was meaty, and the rest is all fatty. (if there is no change in your life, then you were slipped a false salvation.) The biggest fear of all, is to live your life in anticipation of the biggest, most awesome bacon sandwich in the world, and to get there on that day, and stand before God and realize that all you have coming to you...... is turkey bacon. (hell) and as you spend eternity eating turkey bacon, and knowing that if you had just followed God, you would spend eternity eating Hormel Black label double smoked center cut bacon.
I know I'm being funny, and probably a little ridiculous, but my point is this. Are you truly happy in your life? This life is such a small portion of your eternity. I struggle with sin every day of my life. There are things I would like to do, but I Know they are sinful. SO I struggle and fight the temptations, because I look at the big picture of my eternity. Better a few years of unhappiness and an eternity of peace and joy, than a few years of sinful happiness and an eternity of agony. If you think you were saved and it does not bother you at all to live a sinful lifestyle, then maybe you were slipped some uncured bacon and your salvation was not real. I've been there, I lived almost 30 years thinking I was saved and I wasn't. Because it was toooooo easy to sin, and I didn't feel bad when I did it.
so examine your bacon closely. Check to make sure its meaty, full of the goodness of God. Not loaded with the fat of Satan. Make sure its smoked with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God that tells you when you are doing wrong. If you get defensive and feel the need to justify what you are doing, chances are, you shouldn't be doing it. and Please, Please, get right with God, so your bacon is pure, and not the turkey bacon of lostness that will lead you to Hell. I love you, and I want you in heaven with me. Eating bacon sandwiches with the Lord.
