I am......ME! (and not a mistake)

Being adopted has a lot of downfalls. The main one is not knowing your medical history, and secondly, not knowing your family history. When I was 21 I searched for my birth family and found them, and got medical information. I was told that I was German, and Cherokee. But still, when you look in the mirror, you don't really know. I have some parts of my birth mother, but other parts that I assume must have been from the man who helped to give me life. I cannot really call him my father, because he will always be a mystery to me. I have spend my life feeling like I was just someone's mistake. I have had people in my life that have reinforced that idea over and over, until it became who I thought I was.  

Recently, a friend and I started tracing our family genealogy. I had a hand full of names of relatives and I started entering them in the ancestry registry. Leaf after leaf appeared, taking me back another generation, and another. Through the 1800's when I found a relative that was Cherokee, and was on the Trail of Tears. Through the 1700's when I found relatives that fought in the American Revolution. 1600's when my family arrived in Jamestown on a ship.... from England. I am English! All of a sudden titles started to appear, Richard Cave, High Sheriff, Sir Robert, Lord of Helmsley, Barons, Knights, Lords of Estates, . Further back in to the 1300's William "the Lion" Huntington, King of Scotland. I found relatives that fought with William Wallace, and were hung, drawn and quartered and their heads hung on London Bridge! Back farther still, Edward the Elder, King of the Anglo-Saxons during the 900's. Cynric King of Wessex from 530. More leaves. Flocwald Asgard, King of the Trojans. in the year 100. and still leaves were popping up, until the last leaf was on Hwala Asgard, 120 BC.......BC..... I traced my family lineage to Before Christ. I sat there and stared at that name, and that date. Most of the people I know can trace their family back to the 1700's, or maybe the 1600's when they immigrated here, but to trace it back this far! The only way possible was that the royals kept records that most people do not. I traced my family back 83 generations. Through England, Scotland, Norway, Scandanavia, Germany, Iceland, Afghanistan, I had a relative that died in Australia. How can this be? I am nothing. But now all of a sudden I have this fantastic family tree, with hundreds of branches. I started out with 4 generations of names, and took it back 79 more, over 500 relatives names so far, and more leaves to click on the outer branches. I was busy going up, now I have to go out and fill in all the blanks. 

The history is fantastic, great stories, pictures of castles, statues, scrolls of family records, legends, monuments to great deeds. Portraits of family members. There are people who achieved great things, took great risks, lived, and traveled, and fought. One relative was married twice and had 23 kids between the two wives.  But I still had to wonder why I was finding so much information and my friends were not. Then a verse came to my mind. Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."  Now I am not talking about the prophet part of that, because I am no prophet, but the first part of that verse, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you...... God knew me, Before He formed the earth, He had a plan for me. All the way back to Hwala Asgard in 120 BC God knew that I would be born in 1969. I was never a mistake, I was planned. Maybe not by my mother. To her I was the consequence of her sin, but I was a part of the Master's plan. If I had just gone back to 1800 and then dropped off like so many of the sections of my family tree did, I would have just kept with the idea that I was a goof. But to be able to trace a line back, proves that God always meant for me to be. 

This changes nothing in my life, When I was a kid, I used to daydream that my mother was a princess, and I had been kidnapped by gypsies and put up for adoption, like the fairy tales, and one day my royal family would search for me and find me and take me to the castle. But, that never happened, and yes I do come from royal lineage, but no one is going to come and whisk me away in a carriage (or a limo). My exterior life is going to go on just as it did before. But inside, I have changed. I have a family tree! I know what parts of the world my relatives came from. According to Katie this explains my love for tea, because I am English. Maybe this explains my love for English and Scottish accents! But all in all, it shows me that God loves me, and that He always did, even before I took my first breath. Sometimes we forget that He has plans for our lives. I came from a long line of greatness. There is a tiny piece of each of those people inside of me. The life span of many of my kin were in the 70-80's. So I know these health issues are not going to get the most of me because I come from strong stock! My family stood up for what they believed in, even to the death! So who am I to fear the struggles I deal with!?? God is working in my life and I need to live up to what He has created me to be. I don't know exactly what that is, but I am going to start preparing. God put it in me to write. I am writing. For years I kept the words tucked inside me, scared of being put down. Now I put them out there and the ones who are meant to, will read them and the others will not. But I honor God with my words. All that I am, I owe to Him. I may not have a lot of worldly possessions, but I have a heavenly home. 

God has perfect timing, He put me in this place at this time, and allowed me to find this information so He could reveal to me that I am worthy. I always have been, I just didn't realize it.