It is well known that words have a great power. They have the power to uplift or tear down. They have the power to help or to hurt. So we need to choose our words carefully. Why do some people feel the need to constantly tear people down, to discourage them from following their dreams or making a choice that can better their life?
I have spent most of my adult years being discouraged and put down. Quite frankly, until a couple of years ago my self-esteem was in the toilet. I felt I was stupid, worthless, and any other negative term you could imagine. I had dreams, but not the confidence to follow them, and I was discouraged from even trying. I was smart, college education, even though I never completed my degree, but I was forever discouraged from doing anything to better my life. When I changed my situation and changed the people in my life I started seeing that people wanted what was best for me, even when I, myself didn't know what that was. I had people who knew I had writing ability encourage me to start writing, first this blog, and secondly freelance writing for local publications. It is so thrilling to see my name in a magazine. But still bittersweet, because, if not for the discouragement for so many years, how much farther could I possibly have been by now? And I know that not everyone cares for my style of writing and that is their business, but why spend their life raining on my parade? My brother, who is NOT a reader, faithfully reads my articles every issue they are in and is proud of me. He encourages me and has faith and confidence in me to follow my dreams. He could just as easily ignore what I am doing, and it wouldn't hurt me. He could also tell me I am wasting my time because I will never amount to anything but a small town magazine that no one really cares about anyway. And that would break my heart. His words and opinion have the power to hurt or help his baby sister and he uses them to lift me up.
I am not saying that I always make the right decisions in life, and granted, I have made a lot of mistakes, but that is no reason to belittle me. The ones who seem to make it their mission in life to tear down those around them who are trying to improve their lives. It makes me wonder if they feel so badly about their own lives that they need to tear down those around them to make themselves feel better. The Negative Nancy's and Negative Norman's in life who want others to be as miserable as they are. They find fault in everyone and love nothing more than putting others down.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
we are supposed to encourage each other, to show love, and to always want the best for each other, even if it is not what we ourselves would do. I have a friend who wants to go skydiving. This is something I, myself would never do. But it isn't MY dream, so why would I discourage him from following HIS dream? I am proud that he wants to do it. But I certainly wouldn't spend hours telling him scenarios that I have heard that happened to others who did it, and I wouldn't tell him he is wrong to want to do it. My job as his friend is to cheer him on, encourage him, and pray for his safety. To be excited for him, and when he has successfully completed it, to be proud of his accomplishment. That is what friends do.
There is so much negativity in the world, we need to strive to be a positive force. We need to lift up the fallen. Hug the hurting. Encourage the ones who struggle.
Think before you speak, are your words positive, encouraging, enlightening, spoken with love, for the benefit of the hearer, are they truth, or opinion. Will they help, or hurt? Are they necessary, or would it be more beneficial to step back and stay silent?
So dear discourager, please, PLEASE if you are part of my life, just know that I spent 20 years being put down and discouraged. I spent 20 years being made to feel worthless and stupid. I spent 20 years being told what to do, and how to do it. I am now my own boss. I make my own decisions, and I might ask for advice, but at the end of the day, the only One who's opinion of me really matters is God. If I am headed down a wrong path He convicts me and turns me around. Be a positive part of my life. Be happy for what I am doing. Even if you don't agree. Even if you "heard" it wasn't a good situation. Even if you don't think I can do it. And if this isn't possible for you to do, then PLEASE keep your opinions to yourself, because what I need in my life is lovers, not haters.
Signed,
Beckie
PS. And if you don't like bacon, I am afraid it might SERIOUSLY impact our friendship. :)
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